I Wish I Could Protect You From Everything

2021, a new year. A new start. A new season. Well, that's what most of us are saying especially after a year like 2020. I would think anyone and everyone is hoping for the best in this new year. This year for me started much different than last year. An unexpected happened, the birth of our 3rd child, another son. There was excitement and shock all at the same time. We found out we were pregnant in May and everything changed. Here's the thing, this kid was unplanned, unexpected, an 'all of a sudden' arrival ... He was a miracle baby. I got a vasectomy years ago and I thought it wouldn't be possible, but God had a sense of humor. "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21. Yeah I get it God, your plan is always perfect. 

Now there are some situations in life that you are not really prepared for. Like having kids. Oh, I can be a cool uncle, but its another level when you have your own children and have to feed, clothe and take care of them lol. Yesterday I had a heartfelt conversation that was brought up by my teenage daughter. She said, "Dad I was told from a friend that people are saying we as a family are fake." She said it very concerned, very sad and asked why would anyone say that we are fake and dishonorable. I have always tried to shield my children from the ugliness of this world, but the reality is you can only do so much until they have no choice but to experience it for themselves. You just pray, trust God and hope that everything we have instilled in them has prepared them for right and wrong. Next month my only daughter, my firstborn, will be turning 15 years old. From an early age, she has always had a sweet spirit and carried her heart on her shoulders. She's an introvert that sees the best in people and always gives them the benefit of the doubt. When we hurt, she hurts. When we would cry, she cries. She loves and defends her brother fervently, just as much as she fights with him lol. She is a young woman of faith who is sensitive to the spirit and has a major calling over her life. How do I respond to my daughter when she feels hurt by words about her family?

I'm not going to lie, but inside I was angry. Why? *PAUSE* This section broke me down as I wrote it. Why? Because criticism has now reached and affected my children. How do I explain to my daughter who has grown up watching us love, disciple, and counsel people, to now hear a gossip that her family name is essentially being dragged in mud. Look we're not perfect, but we have been intentional with how we treat and build up people, so its unfair, its petty and it hurts to know that someone would have the audacity to speak ill of our name when they don't know the sacrifice of our walk in Christ. Those that know your heart will speak up for you in private and those that don't, will eventually see your fruit. I was open and honest with her and agreed that it hurts to hear that. But as a parent, I could do 2 things, brush it off and say, "Haters will always hate," or use this as a moment to teach her that the world is full of hurting people and we have a purpose to help change that. 

When you respond to hate with love, love will always win. It may not look like the right thing in the moment, but when you remove the thought of we vs. them, love conquers. When you remove the urge of defending an offense, love takes over. When you remove yourself and allow Jesus in, everything changes. For my teenage daughter, who daily walks the halls in a place where its normal for a teen to get easily offended, lash out publicly, or assume the worst, (have you been ghosted before?), she deserves the right response from her parents. I told her the hardest words that anyone could say in the middle of an injustice, "You have to love them anyways." People will always criticize what they don't understand and when you are living out what God has asked you to do, you will be persecuted. BUT GOD ... I love that, because it doesn't matter what anyone says, the only thing that matters is what God says. He is the ultimate order and his word says, "Blessed are those who are persecuted for doing right..." (Matt 5:10). So in essence, we're blessed, and as strong and as fluctuating as our feelings are, God’s Word is truer than anything we feel. Heaven and earth will pass away, but God’s Word will not. This means that no matter how I feel or what I experience, I can choose to depend on the Word of God as the unchanging reality of my life. I am blessed. My family is blessed and no matter what anyone says negatively, we intentionally choose to love and forgive. 

It won't be easy. I've learned that people love to arrive at your turmoil quicker than your success. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, (Gal 5:22-23) and we have to reflect that in public and in private. I've also learned that everything will always come to the light and when it does, I'd rather be on the other side of the apology. Meaning, I'd rather be on the side of receiving the apology, then being the one that has to say it. So we have to be still and know that God fights our battles. This seemed to be received easily by my daughter because of her character, but its still difficult for me. But in everything, God can receive the glory and within everything there is something God is trying to bring out of you to prepare you for what He has called you to do. This coming Sunday, my family will be stepping into a new assignment. Even more so now, I understand why I'm going through this. Enduring wrongful hatred is something that God requires and rewards. Jesus said, "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matt 5:44). As hard as it is, seeking truth and living by the light exposes darkness in the lives of others and incites hatred. They may say they don't hate you, but they talk about you. 

So to my daughter Raquel, when we are cursed, we are to return a blessing in return. We go the extra mile and pray for them. If we suffer for doing good, we are to endure it. We don't hate them back. We don't try to figure out why. We forgive them. We bless them. I've learned that some people are here to bless you, while some are here to test you. These responses are hard to do, but they demonstrate that something supernatural is motivating us. The next time your character is tested by someone, go out of your way to bless them and God will bless you in return. 

To the ones who said it. We forgive you. This is my heart. God bless you. - PA